Tell me why beach volleyball became an Olympic sport.

I've said it before but it's worth repeating. The Olympics should be about running faster than others, jumping further and higher than others and throwing things further than others. And that's it! Nothing else has any historic relevance.

Of course I can see the visual appeal of a bunch of toned Brazilian beach babes leaping about in miniscule shorts. But note that I said 'toned Brazilian beach babes' So why in the name of the wee man is this the team we select to represent us:

I mean if they were the women's weightlifting squad, they'd seem more appropriate.

Can this benighted country ever get a single thing right???

And before anyone tells me that beach volley ball is not all about scantily clad girls; why do they make them dress in such tiny bikini bottoms? A one piece swim suit would represent the ethos of a beach just as well if not better.

And that's another thing; why isn't the event being held at Weymouth, for example, where there are a plethora of real beaches? Instead the hallowed tarmac of Horseguards is being sanded up for the spectacle.

But how many tickets would they sell in Weymouth? Not as many as in London, I suppose! Just a way of attempting to make sure that the Olympic losses are as small as possible - eh LOCOG?