And in one easy move the level of drug use falls and the standard of spoken English improves #news

Though, of course, it has yet to be proved in a court of law that Tulisa Constavlos, having failed in the music and TV industry, now supports herself by supplying class A drugs. It will come as no surprise that she has jetted off to Ibiza, that well known centre of recreational drug use, for a holiday break from her legal woes. She has taken the abominable and illiterate Chelseeeeee Healey with her thus raising the standard of English spoken in this country by a considerable amount.

It is unfair to put the blame for the appalling standard of English in this country entirely on the awful Chelseeee's doorstep however. The Mail Online describes the couple's departure thus:

The former X Factor judge and actress Chelsee Healey joined a large group of pals at Manchester Airport on Saturday as they prepared to fly out to the White Isle.

I was not aware that Chelseeee had ever been an X-Factor judge, nor indeed that she could ever have been perceived as an actress for that matter!