#scd The Strictly 2015 lineup must have been chosen by BBC bean counters

I'm pretty sure that calling this, the first Strictly show of 2015, a launch show is as erroneous as describing it as being 'live'. The sink show would be more appropriate if less grammatical. The Beeb must have decided that the only way to give Strictly a decent death is to cause it to lose it's current viewer popularity. And the way to achieve that is to give it a dull as dishwater 'celebrity' line up.

Although there is absolutely no promise of a spectacular routine or even the 'hair standing on the back of the neck' moment provided by a truly exquisite rendering, it is still possible to extract a few laughs.

The pairing of Kristina with Daniel O'Donnell made me laugh so much that I feared for the elastic of my hernia belt. The producers have effectively clapped Kristina into a chastity belt by partnering her with someone as utterly unalluring as O'Donnell. They must have been concerned that her romantic entanglements were bringing their show into disrepute.

I also chuckled when the voiceover stated that Daniel O'Donnell is a *singing legend*..... well I'd have to say that the word legend applies to the type of fame which extends a good deal further than the miniscule and insignificant corner of the universe which is Ireland.

All in all the producers seem to have been intent on partnering the best pro talent with the lesser celebrity prospects and some friction seems inevitable. And just to make it worse Claudia Winkleman appears to be continuing with her unfortunate self delusion that she is a comedian. What on earth was that stupid Davy Crockett hat all about?

Anyway down below - for what it's worth - are my opinions and the current odds about this year's hopefuls or hapless wonders.

Peter André with Janette Manrara. Being partnered with Janette will give him an advantage far greater than any natural talent that he has. I think the bookies have made a considerable rick in pricing him at the 11/4 which is currently available. My advice would be to back almost anyone other than Daniel O'Donnell to beat him.

Helen George Nope, I'd never heard of her either. But will have a tremendous advantage by being with the ladies' favourite Aljaz Skorjanec. best price today 7/1. Worth a punt against André

Georgia May Foote I only know who she is because I am an inveterate watcher of Coronation Street. Her only real chance would depend on what kind of training she may have had at drama school - if any. Whatever it was it obviously did not include acting. Partnered with new boy Giovanni Pernice. An unknown possibility at 7/1

Jamelia Undeniably pretty and with a sense of humour but unpopular and has a reputation for whining that will not get her votes. I expect an early injury will see the end of her partnership with Tristan MacManus. 9/1 in one misguided place.

Jay McGuinness Apparently a member of the Unwanted and looks sufficiently like Mick Hucknall and Ed Sheeran to make him almost instantly forgettable (Nothing to do with the red hair - of course not!) Aliona Vilani will be doing her best but ... well.... just... MEH! Again a miserly 9/1

Kirsty Gallacher Claiming to have a backstory perhaps to get the sympathy vote (probably thinks she's in Britain's Got Talent). Her father has recovered from a serious illness and she's split from her husband but that seems due to her own affair with a golfer. Sorry but it gets no tears from me. With Brendan Cole who'll teach her a thing or two, maybe even about dancing. 10/1 seems mean though.

Katie Derhem I don't know much about her other than she is a BBC 3 presenter. Her partnership with Anton du Beke says it all about what the producers think of her chances. 20/1 must be the shortest price Anton has been for a number of years

Anthony Agogo Nope never heard of him. A bronze medal doesn't exactly put him among the upper echelon and I don't expect any better from his dancing. He's with newbie Otlile Mabuse who is very beautiful. But even at 20/1 he is not appealing.

Kellie Bright They keep wittering on about how she used to be in "The Upper Hand" But I'm sure I remember her from "The Archers". But that's by the by really as she's still an outside chance even given the charm of Kevin Clifton. 20/1 seems a fair price.

Anita Rani A very pretty girl with brains and an engaging personality. Why the bookies price her below Kellie Bright is a mystery. I suppose it must be the lack of an acting background. Partnered with newcomer Gleb Savchenko who seems to be getting the ladies frothing at the mouth. 22/1

Ainsley Harriot He is my very least favourite celebrity chef and actually the man who initiated my total dislike of the breed. Far too fond of calling mundane things *amazing* and yakking about *wonderful* carrots etc. And even the lovely Natalie Lowe won't make his price of 25/1 appealing in any way.

Iwan Thomas I won't be the only one who has never heard of him. I took an instant dislike to him when he disturbed Ola Jordan by seeming to take control right from the off by swinging her round behind his back when she wasn't expecting it and nearly causing an embarrassing dress malfunction. I would seriously advise him to settle down and let Ola do what she does best - turning something utterly hopeless into a worthwhile competitor. Best price 33/1

Daniel O'Donnell See above. Best price 66/1

Jeremy Vine An enormous disappointment to me because I could have wished for a partner far better suited for Karen Clifton - not only as a dance partner but also from a humour prospective. Every time I see Karen I am reminded of that old classic "Two Spanish Eyes" She is beautiful and entrancing and I would like her to stay on each show for the longest time possible. However Jeremy Vine has all the charisma of a dead trout and I doubt that even Karen's charms will bring him to life. His price is 100/1 but it might as well be 1000/1

Carol Kirkwood I think I've said all I need to say about weather presenters and Carol is fairly typical of her breed. I despise all that cheerfulness in the morning and the endless yapping and repetition of *good morning* in spite of the fact that they appear every 15 minutes. You can get 100/1 about her if you are stupid enough or have far more money than sense.

So in conclusion my betting advice would be to 'dutch' Peter André with Helen George and Georgia Foote which would give a combined odds of near enough evens. I know I said not to back André but when dutching it's wise to include the favourite. Of course it only applies at my given odds.

So what am I looking forward to in this series. Only the usual. I can only hope that Karen Clifton will be in long enough to give us a tango illuminated by those flashing and mesmerising 'Spanish eyes' and of course I look forward to all her appearances on the ITT sofa as she has the kind of infectious joy which brightens the most depressing winter weather.

Hopefully, and I've heard nothing in this respect, Karen Hardy will be giving us all the benefit of her sound judgement and experience. Ha ha - I say sound judgement and experience" but actually I mean the chance for this old man to ogle her beautiful figure. No offence intended, Karen.

One final word of advice to the BBC. If they really need to save money at the expense of shows like Strictly - why not consider charging the celebrities to appear. I shouldn't think there is one of them, particularly this year, who would not pay for the privilege. Cutting down on the number of theme nights would also help. We don't really need anything other than the Halloween and Blackpool events. Anything more is not only added expense but also a distraction from the training which is the entire object of the exercise.