Cheryl Cole reveals her anus horribilis

Oh no...you didn't really think that she was revealing more than would have been polite. Well in some ways, and certainly as far as I am concerned, she has revealed far too much. Okay I believe that everyone has the right to do what pleases them with their own bodies. I do not like tattoos personally; I think it looks scruffy regardless of the artistic qualities. And I reserve my particular dislike for writing of any kind whether ideograms, fancy script, arabic lettering or English words. I mean ask yourself what do the Chinese tattoo on their arms, fingers, backs and bums? English phrases like 'Where's wally'. I don't think so.

I've always liked girls' skin and much prefer it to be as unblemished as possible. Mark you I have no objection whatever to the odd mole, freckle or dimple. It adds to character and a little flaw is charming and endearing. But I don't like a girl to have the appearance of a lavatory wall. And no matter what Cheryl thinks now, she will hate it when she gets older. When her butt is wrinkled and sagging those roses will look worse than wilted and a quick wipe over with an artist's cleaner won't restore them.

The other matter which concerns me is the influence she may have on her young and impressionable fans. Sorry Cheryl I used to like you and even, dare I admit it, fantasised a little about you. But I couldn't imagine fondling those cheeks or giving them a cheeky pinch. They are an utter turn off and you're now off my Christmas card list.