And in one easy move the level of drug use falls and the standard of spoken English improves #news

Though, of course, it has yet to be proved in a court of law that Tulisa Constavlos, having failed in the music and TV industry, now supports herself by supplying class A drugs. It will come as no surprise that she has jetted off to Ibiza, that well known centre of recreational drug use, for a holiday break from her legal woes. She has taken the abominable and illiterate Chelseeeeee Healey with her thus raising the standard of English spoken in this country by a considerable amount.

It is unfair to put the blame for the appalling standard of English in this country entirely on the awful Chelseeee's doorstep however. The Mail Online describes the couple's departure thus:

The former X Factor judge and actress Chelsee Healey joined a large group of pals at Manchester Airport on Saturday as they prepared to fly out to the White Isle.

I was not aware that Chelseeee had ever been an X-Factor judge, nor indeed that she could ever have been perceived as an actress for that matter!

Victoria Pendleton pedals out of Strictly at last

And she takes the secret of how she ever won an Olympic medal with her!

I don't want to be mean about her Olympic achievement but her total lack of commitment and generally whinging attitude during her 'Strictly journey' have been quite startling. She never fulfilled her promise.

Louis Smith is not living up to his early promise either. His totally sexless performance in the Salsa this week has led me to call him 'Limp Louis from now on.
His odds are on the still on the drift and 2/1 is available again at Ladbrokes and Coral.

At the beginning of the week, I took a saver on Denise van Outen meaning that if she should overturn Limp Louis and win, at least I will recover my losses on both Louis and the disaaaaaaster that was Sid Owen.
I wouldn't be able to afford that now as her price has shortened to 11/10 at Victor Chandler and a couple of other places.

Kimberley Walsh looked like a sulky teenager during her tango this week. She seems to have inherited Richard Arnold's fixed facial expressions.
I imagine that there will be no stampedes to take the 10/1 that is now available at Ladbrokes, Coral and SportingBet.

I really hated Dani Harmer's Beyoncé samba routine, but that may well be because I don't like Beyoncé herself. It was jerky though.
She's closing the gap a bit now with 12/1 (Victor Chandler) the best you can get.

I thought Lisa Riley's rumba was boring and grossly overmarked by everybody. And I'm not the only one because her price has not shifted from last week with 16/1 still being generally available.

I think Nicky Byrne has outstayed his welcome too. I'm as tired of his unpleasant Irish diction as I am of his stompy boy band dancing.

All I can say about Michael Vaughan is that Natalie Lowe looked stunningly sexy this week and that I'd happily let her do her leg decorations round me anytime.

As a side note, the appalling Chelseeee Healey was a contestant on the Strictly edition of the quiz show Pointless on Saturday night. She, in parnership with James Jordan got through to round 3 which was surprising to say the least. She thought Gin Jibe was an anagram of Belgium. The words 'Chelsee Healey' and 'pointless' go together quite well, don'tcha think?

So Chelsee Healey blames her partying for her split with boyfriend

I suggest that her eyebrows are to blame! Can you imagine waking up with those on the pillow next to you. And that mouth hanging slackly open sucking in all the nocturnal insects within range. Then regurgitating them again on the exhale.

Face the facts Chelseeeee. Remember that denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

At last some common sense regarding so-called twitter trolling

The Department of Public Prosecutions have stated that court action will only be taken in cases representing a 'sustained campaign of harassment' or direct threat.
It's about time that a sensible decision was made and now perhaps people will stop wasting police time with silly complaints about being harassed or abused on Twitter when they are actually only being criticised or just plain insulted.

I've said it before but it is worth repeating that if someone puts him or herself up for public appreciation in some way then he/she has to put up with the opposite as well. Not everybody is going to like them.

And while I'm on the subject, I wish they would stop using the word *troll* in this context. A troll is someone who constantly looks for arguments and NOT a person who insults other people.

Right, maybe I can get back to *expressing my perfectly valid opinions* about the awful Chelseeeee Healey in peace without worrying about a knock on the door at some dreadful hour in the morning.

Some girls look great in whatever they wear

and some girls don't. @rihanna for example, looks stunning in these snakeskin boots although they might be said to be too heavy and slightly out of kilter with the rest of her outfit.

But you only get out of something what you put in, I suppose. So if Rihanna puts her fabulous legs into those boots, she's bound to get a stunning result.
I suppose the tree huggers will be moaning about the snakeskin but one of the things I like about Rihanna is that she doesn't care a fig about the amount of controversy she stirs up. Like she has said in a Tweet:

Yikes, Rihanna has just run out of fucks to give!

Chelsee Healey on the other hand,

has nothing worthwhile to put into any outfit, and just looks and behaves like a chav whatever she wears.
This is Chelseeeee leaving some chavvy nightspot after celebrating the reality TV awards.
As the old saying goes:

If somebody looks like a chav, behaves like a chav and keeps the company of other chavs; then it's a fair assumption that it is a chav.

By the way I use chav in it's true sense; a perjorative term for a gypsy or traveller - someone uneducated or illiterate.

I suppose you might think that this is just an excuse for me to be rude about the celebrity I hate most in the world

Well it's not, in spite of her utterly odious attempt to invite comparisons to the beautiful Julie Christie.

I'm actually having yet another go at the vile standard of English in the Mail Online.

Introducing this article featuring the abominable Chelseeeee Healey dressed, in August, for the depths of a Moscow winter, the Mail journalist Kirsty McCormack says

She's not necessarily known for having the best fashion taste

What, in the name of all that's holy, does not necessarily known mean in this context?

not necessarily - as opposed to what? I don't get it. What purpose does it serve and how does it add meaning?
If she meant not known for having the best fashion taste then why couldn't she just have said so instead of giving me a headache trying to unravel her syntax.

Chelseeeeee is also well known for her:
1) Ghastly eyebrows.
2) Plastic mammary hyperplasia.
3) Trout pout.
4) Poor elocution and diction.
5) Limited vocabulary.
6) Lack of acting ability.

You just cannot underestimate the intelligence of the Daily Mail writers or its readers

Bloody Chelseeeee Healey features yet again in the Daily Mail. This time she got upset because of a couple of old ladies heckled her in the street. Street trolling sounds like a new craze!
But what made me laugh was further down the item:

Obviously (the) Healey dress code is not to everyone's taste but one person did like it and tweeted: 'Just seen the gorgeous @chelseehealey walk past at work :) :)" :) xxx'

Sarcasm is obviously lost on the morons who write this kind of rubbish because, to me, the tweet is implying that the appalling Chelseeee was at work herself - presumably carrying out the business of a streetwalker. And, to be fair, that's exactly what she looks like.

Surely I'm allowed to hate this woman without being called a troll

Why can't this appalling creature sink into the obscurity she so richly deserves. Here she is again flapping her over-filled lips and jawing away in vile estuary English through a singularily unpleasant Manchester accent.
Chelsee Healey the doyen of the surgically enhanced and talentless. And for God's sake would you look at those eyebrows!!!!!