I don't know why I watched 999: What's your emergency?

I hoped that it might feature the important work of emergency services operators. But instead it turned out to be a standard bottom of the barrel Channel 4 television documentary about the terminally stupid behaviour of the nation's drunks and druggies. You know the kind of thing - a semi-literate narrator refers to the police as cops and offenders as lads, pissing in the streets, public indecency, swearing, handcuffs, leering at the camera in custody suites and the remarkable patience of custody officers trying to get an answer to the simplest questions.

It could have been an interesting programme but instead it just informed me that I don't want to set foot in Blackpool and certainly not at night.

I give the last word to a very pretty WPC who said that even watching the X Factor would be a more attractive proposition than spending the night in a cell in a puddle of her own puke, shit and piss. Nicely put, I thought.

Somehow I just knew that the Olympic opening ceremony was going to be an embarrassing cringefest

The picture above is allegedly of some of the performers and their props about to take part in the rehearsals yesterday. I don't know if it is supposed to represent NHS waiting lists in this country. I can appreciate the irony considering the staggering amount of money being spent on the Olympic farce which could otherwise be directed to more worthwhile causes. But I rather think that irony is something else that will be sadly lacking from this Summer of madness.
This extract is from the Mail On Sunday and I'm embarrassed already and considering emigration just reading about it.

The opening moments of the ceremony will see versions of London landmarks such as Big Ben, St Paul’s Cathedral and the London Eye, all of them covered in newspaper, being unwrapped by a cast of hundreds.
An estimated 300 performers will take part in a routine based on the capital’s rush hour, with cars, scooters and bicycles hurrying around the main stage while lollipop ladies direct the tooting traffic and road workers drill the pavements.
Then, to a potentially controversial Full Monty-style rendition of the National Anthem, the performers will strip off their costumes – the lollipop ladies will reveal Union Jack-themed swimsuits, while the commuters and road workers will be in similarly patriotic bodysuits and other outfits.

There is also apparently some kind of a horrifying "comedy" routine by Russell Brand. Although exactly what part of British culture he is supposed to represent I don't know. Unless maybe it's the undesireable part.
Other dreadful features of the closing ceremony include performances by:
Jessie J, The Pet Shop Boys, Fat Boy Slim (who?), Take That, Tinie Tempah (who?), One Direction and Take That. Why the fuck has pop music got to be involved in everything these days?
Ah wait a minute! I'm beginning to get it now. It's intended to be an ironic send up of Great Britain. The undesireable side of this country in a kind of cartoon representation. In which case where are the lager louts and football hooligans? Bring them on.
I am oh so sick of being ashamed of this country and these bloody games are not going to help at all.

Why I don't care that this guy was nearly garrotted.

Chris Richmond who was in besporting himself with a couple of friends in a park in Manchester. They happened across a couple of teenagers riding a small capacity motorcycle on the grass. They persuaded (bullied) them into lending him the machine and rode off over the pathways.
A couple of passersby whom Richmond describes as middleaged, although he said they were aged between 30 and 40, took exception to his yobbish behaviour and stretched a dog lead in his path causing him lacerations to his neck.
Yes I know that it's wrong to take the law into one's own hands. But this is why I have no sympathy with him whatsoever. He has a daughter called Remme-Mae, and his wife is called Jordane.
Don't those names tell you all you need to know about Chris Richmond?